A Night to Dismember was a promo written by Krimson Mask during July 2006 in the Pyromania 8.2 trash-talking thread. The promo was the second telling of The Tales of Krimson Mask promos, and gave further insight regarding the severity of the Krimson Mask character.




~Once upon a time, there lived two young lovers who were walking through the woods at night. With the scenic forest surrounding them and the stars dancing in the sky, the two exchange soft kisses on each other’s lips. The male pins his woman to the bark of a tree and travels his hands all over her body.

Mark: “Take off your clothes.”

Janet: “What?”

Mark: “You heard me. Take off your clothes.”

Janet: “You have got to be kidding. There’s no way I’m getting naked out here. There could be someone watching.”

Mark: “Come on. There’s no one around. We’re out here in the middle of the goddamn forest. The closest human being around here is probably 15 miles away. It’s just you, me, and maybe some horny squirrels who want to see some humpin’ action.”

Janet: “Mark, you’re such a prick.”

Mark: “Jeez Janet. What’s the big deal? Are you worried that a pack of big bad wolves will come out of nowhere and eat us while we’re doin’ it?

Janet: “That’s not the point. The point…’abrupt noise is heard’…What was that?”

Mark: “What was what?”

The couple gets quiet as a large crackling sound is heard just a few steps from them in the condensed forest. The hair follicles of the couple stand on edge due to the unknown creature being so close to them. The sound stops. There’s no racket for a few seconds. Suddenly, a furry squirrel with an acorn in his mouth comes through the brush.

Janet: “Is this your idea of a romantic evening. Having squirrels watch us having sex.”

Mark: “Oh my god. You’re such an anal retentive bitch! Get over here and…hey where you going?”

Janet: “I’m going back to the car.”

Mark: “You can’t leave.”

Janet: “Stay away from me. I knew we never should have started dating.”

Mark: “Hey! Get your ass back here. I mean…look…Janet…I was kidding! It was just a joke.”

Janet storms off in the shadowy horizon. Mark looks down on the intruding squirrel. He’s now chewing on his acorn in a rigorous fashion.

Mark: “I was supposed to get my nuts gnawed on tonight too. Dammit.”

The crackling of leaves begins to start again but from a location further away. The racket is too loud to be caused by a modest squirrel. Mark steps further into the woods to discover where the noise is coming from. Gazing around he takes a few steps past a large oak tree to find a gorgeous woman picking flowers. The female is bent over, picking a collection of dandelions while her backside faces Mark. His eyes slowly move along her sexy body. She’s wearing black buckled high heels that help showcase her long smooth legs. She’s dressed in a tight little velvet cherry dress with the skirt barely covering her juicy ass. The girl stands up and turns around as Mark’s eyes tour around her figure. He discovers her bulging cleavage trying to sneak out of her top, outlined by her nipples pressing against the fabric. Her gentle arms are carrying a small wooden basket with a red-and-white checkered picnic cloth sheet. To top it off, she has neatly braided blonde ponytails that are covered by a red velvet hood that’s carefully tied around her soft neck.

Mark: “Um, hi there. Were you listening to that?”

The girl doesn’t say anything as she sniffs the last flower she singled out. She finally directs her blue eyes to Mark.

Mark: “I’m sorry you had to hear that little fight between me and my ex-girlfr...Nevermind. I shouldn’t get into it. I mean…I’m sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Mark. And you would be....”

Red: “My name is Little Red Riding Hood.”

Mark: “I can see that. You’re doing a very good job at that too if I may say so myself. So, what are you doing for Halloween?”

Red: “Huh? What is a hallow-ween?”

Mark: “Sorry, I told myself I’d stop using bad pick-ups lines like that.”

Red: “Nice to meet you sir.”

Mark: “Yeah, you too. So ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, what’s a good-looking gal like you doing out in the middle of deserted place like this?”

Red: “I am going to Grandmother’s. She’s been feeling very ill. Mother said to take some cake and wine to her so she could eat something to make her well.”

Mark begins chuckling to himself at the absurdity of the woman’s childish answers.

Mark: “Alright, I’ll play along then. So ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, where does your Grandmother live?”

Red: “Well, I no longer know. The house was always just a quarter-mile away from here, under the three large oak trees and the nut trees just below. Right beyond the large windmill you bypass near the river. You surely most know of it. But now it is no longer there. I fear that I am in a whole new world.”

Mark starts to think to himself about the current situation. The girl standing in front of him is the hottest piece of ass he’s ever seen, dressed in a make-believe outfit. The girl is completely ignorant of the fact that no one is out here. It’s just him, her, and not a soul nearby. No one will witness what he’ll do next. With wicked intentions crossing his mind, Mark begins to set his plan in action.

Mark: “Hey, you know what! I think I do know where your Grandmother’s house is?”

Red: “You do! Oh that would be so swell. I was beginning to fear that I was lost out here all alone.”

Mark: “Yeah. You said it was under the three large oak trees and the nuts trees just below it.”

Red: “That is right.”

Mark: “Right past the windmill by the river.”

Red: “Oh yes! That is the one! So you do know where to go! Oh you are so sweet! Quick, can you help lead me in the right direction? I must hurry so that Grandmother does not get any more ill.”

Mark: “Suuuure I can take you there.”

Red: “Oh you are so sweet. Thank you so kindly.”

Mark: “Yeeeeah, no problem. There’s just one little catch.”

Red: “Oh yes! Whatever you say Mark!”

Mark: “Take off your clothes.”

Red: “.....”

Mark: “I’m gonna devour you like the Big Bad Wolf.”

He grabs her forearm and pins her arms to the bark of an old tree. He presses his weight onto her delicate body. Little Red Riding Hood squirms but can’t get free from the handcuffed strength of her rapist. Mark hits his lips on her soft right cheek and slowly makes his way down to her bare neck. He begins to glide his teeth against her skin and gnaws on it for awhile. His hands slither across her silky legs up to her pantyline. Both hands creep under her skirt and he clutches onto her tight ass. He grabs her hair and forces her down to her knees. Mark’s chest sucks in and out from the excitement as he feels his pants get tighter. Little Red Riding Hood’s innocent face is just inches away from Mark’s cock.

Mark: “I guess I can’t find your Grandmother’s place under the three oak trees, but I can show you my large Redwood tree.”

Mark pushes his dick in Little Red Riding Hood’s innocent face. Suddenly, Red’s vulnerable face suddenly twists into a maniacal expression as Mark is ready to unbutton his denim pants to undock his “Redwood”. The tips of her eyebrows dive down in her forehead, her eyes blare with rage, and her teeth form a bizarre grin at the sight of the extended bulge coming from Mark’s pants.

Red: “Tee hee hee hee hee! Did you stuff Pinocchio in your pants, or are you just happy to see me.”

The psychotic Little Red Riding Hood then unzips Mark’s pants and grabs into his pants to grip his junk.

Mark: “Now that’s how I like it.”

Red: “Hee hee hee! You know Pinocchio right? Everytime he lied, his wooden nose got a little longer. Didn’t you read that fairy tale? It’s just like your dick. Everytime you lie to me, you’re dick gets a little stretched out, doesn’t it?

Little Red Riding Hood starts to twist Mark’s extended cock.

Mark: “Aaaaaaaah! Wait a minute. What are you doing?”

Red: “Did you ever read my fairytale Mark? In the story, a Big Bad Wolf devours the sweet little innocent me. He ate me whole until I’m saved by a heroic woodcutter who’s hunting his prey. The woodcutter then kills the wolf. And you know what happened next?”

Mark: “Aaaaaaaah! What’s that?”

Red: “They All Lived Happily Ever After. THE END!”

With Red holding it out, a wooden axe suddenly hacks off the end of Mark’s dick. His pelvic region starts to pour blood like it was Niagara Falls. Mark begins to seizure from the immense shock of having his manhood cut off.

A large brooding shadow emerges from the trees and lurks over the shaking victim. As Mark stumbles, he bumps into the colossal bare chest of his slaughterer. As Mark quivers, he feels the unknown figure’s chest is drenched with sweat, his clothes stained with blood. He looks up and sees the disguised face of his assailant. The Krimson Mask grabs Mark’s head with his left hand and slices his axe across the jugular with the right hand. Liquids spill everywhere as the monster extends his hands out and splashes the blood sap onto his concealed face. Little Red Riding Hood comes over to the monster and gives him a little thank-you kiss on his gory cheek.

Red: “Hee hee hee! Ohmygod! That was fun! Did you see the look on his face when you sliced off his “Redwood”?! Hee hee hee! That was the best one yet! Let’s do it again!”

Krimson Mask glares at Little Red Riding Hood and growls underneath his breath with his nostrils flaring.

Red: “Oh come on. Why do you always have to ruin the fun?”

Krimson Mask begins to lumber away as Little Red Riding Hood runs to catch up to the beast.

Red: “Fine, we’ll figure out a way to get back home now if it makes you happy. And you know, I think we may have the perfect place to start.”

Out of her little basket, Little Red Riding Hood pulls out a blood-stained newspaper print. The headline reads “Psychotic Wrestling Alliance In Town Next Week”.

See alsoEdit

External linksEdit

Wiki LPW
Black StripLPW Left Wing
Mini LPW Logo The Tales of Krimson Mask Mini LPW Logo
Written by Krimson Mask
Welcome to the PWA "Once Upon a Time..." • "A Night to Dismember" • "Hide & Seek" • "PMS" • "Dear Dieary" • "Altered Reality" • "Godfather Death"
Top of the Beanstalk "The Midas Plague" • "Recipe for Catastrophe"

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