Schizos Wild lead-in was an e-wrestling opening written by Wevv Mang as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years. According to Mang, the promo was written in April 2005 as part of the introduction to start the Schizos Wild (2005) card.
Promo[]
The lights fade and Amber and Burgundy spotlights shine as the subtle sounds of Yngwie Malmsteen’s “Amberdawn” begins to play from the loudspeakers. The crowd goes wild. Wevv makes his ay from the side, moving slowly, and helped by Mr. Wang, who is carrying his Tag Team Title. Wevv shuffles down the ramp and to the ring. Mr. Wang leaves his side and goes to fetch a chair, while Wevv slowly, in obvious pain, rolls ito the ring. Once inside, he lays there, while Mr. Wang sets up the chair. That task accomplished, Mr. Wang helps Wevv to his feet. Wevv wincing in pain, and moving slower than before, sits down in the chair. He puts a hand to his back and neck, as Mr. Wang pulls out a mic and hands it to him. Mr. Wang then places the title belt on Wevv’s shoulder, carefully. The music fades, the lights come on, and Wevv speaks...
Wevv: So, I no longer hear that annoying chant-
The sounds of “LOO-SER! LOO-SER!” start up halfheartedly, as a more positive reaction buries it.
Wevv: You ignorant pissants! I WON! Red Dragon and I CRUSHED those miserable little bastards and TOOK what was rightfully ours, as the GREATEST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
The crowd goes wild with boos.
Wevv: Sadly, what was supposed to be a night of championship revelry did not come about, as those cowards Rabbi and Sick Nick decided that they couldn’t stand being exposed as the LOOO-SERS they are, and took revenge on my hapless self.
A Rabbi and Sick Nick chants makes it way around the arena.
Wevv: Indeed, it seems that our little group the Wild Cards is not the powerhouse it should be. Why in my absence, my teammates have managed to become laughing stocks. That is not acceptable. I did not build this group up from nothing so that we could be laughed at! So the time has come to correct our mistakes. The time has come to clear the air. The time has come-
“The Outsider” by A Perfect Circle plays and Rabbi makes his way to the ring. Wevv, not facing the ramp, turns to look, but closes his eyes in pain, and clutches his back. Rabbi rolls into the ring, and goes corner to corner as the crowd showers his with love.
Rabbi drops down and goes to stand before Wevv, as the crowd chants “Rab-bi! Rab-bi!”
Wevv: Shouldn’t you be fumigating your Jewbacca suit? I must say-
Rabbi lunges forward, and grabs the mic, as Wevv rocks back on the chair to avoid him, nearly falling over. Only Mr. Wang saves Wevv from falling. Rabbi laughs as the crowd goes wild with a “Jew-Bacca! Jew Bacca!” chant.
Rabbi: NOTHING! The time has come for you to stop talking Wevv! My god, well, not YOUR god, your days of talking an audience into submission ends! At Schizo’s Wild, it’s just you and me Wevv.
Rabbi: No, don’t get up. (crowd laughs) First, let me be the Better Man, and say Congratulations on beating Nick and yours truly. Once. It takes a special team to beat us. A special team like you Dragon. But, as one half of the best Tag Team of 2004, there’s something you should know. We’ve lost before. Then Nick and I stop drinking and win the belts back, piece of cake! And just like that (Rabbi snaps his fingers) we’re tag team champions again.
Wevv smirks at Rabbi. Rabbi smiles back at Wevv.
Rabbi: But this time, you made it personal. So, I decided to teach you a lesson on what it means to face a pissed off angry Jew! Tonight, you will face me, one on one! Just like the Schizo Six challenge. You remember that don’t you Wevv? The match where I beat you for the Television Title? Wasn’t that the same match Nick and I beat you and your special friend to win the Tag Team Belts? I think it was!
The crowd backs up Rabbi.
Rabbi: You got lucky with your ONE win over me Wevv. But this is VEGAS BABY! Anything can happen! You may get lucky again! Keep those happy thoughts Wevv! Buck up camper! This time, it won;t take so long for me to beat you. I’ll make it quick. Now, I’m sure you’re ready to fire off all kinds of nonsense about a Plan, and promise all kinds of vile and nasty things, but this is a family show Wevv, so keep it clean. What do you have to say Wevv? Feeling lucky?
Rabbi holds out the mic. Wevv leans forward with a grimace of pain to take it, but Rabbi drops it. Wevv looks up at Rabbi, anger etched in his face. The crowd starts chanting for Rabbi again. Wevv and Rabbi stare at each other. Wevv finally leans back in his chair, and simply holds up his Tag Team Championship belt. He then deliberately places it on his shoulder and pats it. Which causes him to visibly wince.
With the crowd firmly behind Rabbi, he points at Wevv, and smiles. He then backs up to the side of the ring, flips over to the ground and walks calmly back up the ramp as “The Outsider” plays forth again. Wevv is still seated in his chair, watching Rabbi go. His face is stone, but as Rabbi hits the top of the ramp, for a finale pose, Wevv smiles devilishly.
Fini
See also[]
