Boom, chicka, baum- baum


A slow panning shot of the Boss’s office.

For the first time, the office is actually lit. Pictures adorn the walls, of past and present superstars of the Inferno brand. A line of pictures depicts the progress of the International Heavyweight Championship, starting with Stone, moving to Jaro, to D. Hammond Samuels, to Drew Michaels, and then to the new champion, N.P.D. The camera keeps moving, to a shot of the Boss’s desk. The monitors are dark. The large Executive Chair is turned around, it’s back facing the camera. The chair turns around slowly, to reveal a smiling Wevv Mang. Wevv is in his trademark designer suit. He puts his hand behind his head, and leans back in the chair and puts his feet, encased in Gucci, on the desk. His foot pushes over the nameplate that reads “The Boss”, seemingly by accident. The song volume lowers, as Wevv removes the cigar and speaks.

Wevv: Greetings Inferno fans and welcome! Welcome to MY show!

Wevv sits upright, and folds his hands in front of him on the desk.

Wevv: As I’m sure many of you know, I was victorious in the Winner Take All Tournament, which means that I have been given complete control of tonight’s PPV, Take No Prisoners.

Wevv slowly gets to his feet and shakes a finger at the camera.

Wevv: While there are some who expect me to do nothing but engage in shameless product placements, I have something different in store for tonight. I mean really, I could line up sponsors like Geico, and put their logo on the mat, and with the money you saved with Geico, you could put it in a Bank Of America money market account, earning even more money, which you could then use to purchase fine products from best Buy, or perhaps, plan for your retirement, with Edward Jones. Sure. That would be easy to do. But not tonight. No, dear fans, I think this is time for a change.

Wevv slowly walks from behind the desk, and stands next to it.

Wevv: There has been enough taking of money. We have had a Winner Take It All. Tonight we have “Take No prisoners”, but tonight, the battle will not be against corporate fat cats. No, tonight, we will take no prisoners in the war against Poverty! Against greed! Tonight, we, the LPW, will be GIVING. Tonight, it gives me great pleasure to announce, that tonight, all profits from ticket sales, merchandise sales, and my salary, both as a wrestler and General Manger for tonight, will also be donated along with all proceeds from these two Pay per Views, Take No Prisoners and Resurrection, will be donated to a worthy cause.

Wevv smiles his megawatt smile into the camera. A twinkle is in his eye.

Wevv: Have you recovered yet, dear viewers? Good. Yes, tonight, LPW will be giving back to the community that has given so much to us. While in these tough economic times, many turn to religion to see them through their difficulties, bless them, but there are real life angels out there each and every day who strive to help their fellow man. I for one am honored that these fine institutions have graciously accepted our offer of help in their noble efforts and acknowledge and applaud their hard work.

Wevv: The United Way is just one such organization.

A man and a woman in a suit are then shown. Wevv shakes their hand and clasp their elbow.

Wevv: There work in helping people in a variety of situations is inspirational to say the least. Another such organization is The Red Cross. When disaster strikes, the Red Cross is there to offer whatever aid they can. Heroes. Plain and simple.

A young man and an attractive young woman are shown. They look embarrassed by Wevv’s words. Wevv actually embraces them, and slaps them on their backs.

Wevv: The aid the Red Cross gives in not just natural disasters but man made ones, selflessly, is an inspiration to all people, of all lands. Thank you.

The young woman blushes and holds up a hand to hide her reaction from the camera.

Wevv:  But they are not alone. Sometimes being a hero is simply being there for some one who needs you. With so many young men, and women, serving our countries overseas, it can be hard on a single parent, and also on a young child. Sometimes, giving the gift of yourself, by mentoring a young child can be the best gift of all. Which is why I am proud to say that Big Brother and Big Sisters Of America will also be recipients of tonight’s Night Of Giving!


A man and woman in suits extend their hands to Wevv. Wevv shakes their hands, but then drags them in for a quick hug.

Wevv takes a stand in front of the group of men and women.

Wevv: Tonight, these three fine organizations will have booths set up in the lobby of this auditorium. I ask all our of our fans who will be attending to share in the spirit of tonight and perhaps, instead of buying another T-Shirt, you might put that money to a better use. I will also ask all of the talent on Inferno to follow my lead, and donate a portion of their paychecks to one, two, or perhaps all three of these worthy causes. We will also be giving out website and phone numbers through tonight’s telecast on so that our millions and millions of viewers at home can also share in the spirit of giving.

Wevv turns and shakes the hands of the representatives as they file out. The last two are from the Red Cross. The young man shakes Wevv’s hand, but the young woman keeps blushing and can’t look Wevv in the eyes. As Wevv takes her hand, he holds on for a second and with his free hand, produces a card from his jacket pocket. He hands it to the woman, and smiles his megawatt smile. The woman’s blushes deeper and then hurries out. Stuffing the card in her blouse. Wevv turns back to the camera and smiles. He takes s seat on the edge of the desk.

Wevv: Now, to the boys in the locker room, allow me to reassure you. You have nothing to fear. No one will be fired tonight. Indeed, while some may have expected you to direct that anger towards me, for my actions when I was Owner of this company, it has not come to pass. Indeed, I was NOT voted the most hated member of LPW. That dubious honor has gone to another man. Meaning, that YOU, the men and women who work for this company, still have faith in me. I thank you for that. And to show my appreciation, tonight, all active members of Inferno will be given a match. A chance to make a living doing what you love to do. It’s the least I can do.

Wevv: On top of that, I am going to help you vent your frustrations at the crass mismanagement of this once wealthy company. Tonight, I am going to challenge the man who has driven this company to the brink of destruction. Tonight, I, Wevv Mang, do hereby challenge The Boss to a match, in that very ring! A very special match!

Wevv: I know that he is too much of a coward to accept my challenge, so, I will offer him an alternative. He cannot avoid the match, Oh No! To think that I will allow a man to destroy what I worked so hard to build to escape my wrath is unthinkable! No, There is going to be a match, and if the Boss is not man enough to face me, then it’s up to him to find some one who will!

Wevv stands up and turns his back to the camera, but then turns back around.

Wevv: If there is a problem, then I suggest you take it up with a man I am appointing Assistant General Manger. A man who has been slighted one time too many by management. But tonight, he is the one with the power. One Edward B. I owe that man a debt, and I always pay my debts. Tonight, Edward will be running the show, as I prepare for my match. Oh, and did I mention that it’s a “Kiss My Ass” match? No? Oh, how silly of me. It is. And that is final.

Wevv smirks into the camera, as it fades to black.

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